my monthly check in

In case you are wondering, no I have not been running. On the days I get up the nerve to get back out there a cold front hits and that is the perfect excuse. I always think, the hardest part of a run is actually getting your shoes on and going out the door it is not the distance of the workout.

I am thinking of changing the content of my blog. I am a reader. I read about 3-4 books a month. I am a fiction reader but most of the time these books have a lot of meaning to them. I wanted to write about how my latest read (thank you Stacy) has affected me. The title is Firefly Lane and it follows two girls as they grow into women and beyond. They find their own ways in life but are the best of friends. It is amazing the forgiveness they muster in their friendship and the way the stay at home mom mothers. It is a book that has shown me how fragile life is and our relationships to our daughters. It was a blast from the past of difficult years in junior high and high school. Finding myself and how I fit into my family, my world and my body. It has helped me to hold on to my girls this week and the small spats we have now. I realize they are nothing compared to what is to come. This book also deals with our immortality. During the Lenten season in the Catholic church immortality is a mystery we contemplate. So, it has been on my mind already. When reading this book I was forced to think of death of myself and my own mother. Whenever we are confronted with this idea I think it is natural to change our living, better our relationships and hold on to those precious moments in life. This is where my blog title comes in. We must Be Not Afraid to live life now so that we may build the eternal life we want with God.

To my adoring fans

So I have been missing in action. We have finally had one full week of no one being sick (not counting Kevin's allergies). I know that I should have gotten myself up to run but we still have not been sleeping through the night. I am hoping that tonight little M will sleep through and maybe just maybe it won't be raining in the morning and I can run. Do you think I will do it? neither do I!

I don't know what is blocking my exercise routine. I have no commitments to run in the Cowtown at the end of the month. I have not signed up. I know other folks who are doing it BUT I don't want to commit my $20 and then not feel like I can run it and I really don't want to walk the whole thing. What a mess! How in the world did I stay so committed before December? I can tell my body needs to run again and I know it would help me in so many ways especially that I could check the guilt baggage I carry around each day.

Thanks for listening I think you have inspired me I am going to set out the running clothes tonight and hop up and just do it! Don't I sound like a Nike commercial?
Thanks for the incentive to blog tonight Amy.

The will to run

Confession
This past month has been so crazy with sick kids and the busyness of life. I did not run this weekend, life gets so busy and there just is not enough time. On top of the feelings of letting myself down I feel like I am letting down my family.
So my confession is I turned on Oprah today. What she was talking about struck a chord with me. She was saying how in the new year to get back on track with weight loss or the journey of joy "You must put yourself on your to do list." I have not been doing that and this is why I feel so depressed about it all.
I hate using that word, I don't think I am Depressed with a capital "D" but I think I need to make some changes. Running seemed to help with all of these worries, it gave me my time in the morning and energy to chase the girls all day. Yet I find it impossible to get up and get it done. Where did I find that commitment before? How can I get it again?
Well, duty calls- I have child hanging off my arm.. More later!!!

Sick of it

We all caught colds right after my run and then Christmas happened. So needless to say I have not run in quite some time.
I am tentatively committed to running a 10K at the end of February. The cowtown. If I can get my rear in gear this week I will pay my dues and run then.
I had an unexpected Christmas present-i am in pre-pregnancy jeans much quicker post Little M than I was with Big M. It is nice to have a pair that fit just right.