my monthly check in

In case you are wondering, no I have not been running. On the days I get up the nerve to get back out there a cold front hits and that is the perfect excuse. I always think, the hardest part of a run is actually getting your shoes on and going out the door it is not the distance of the workout.

I am thinking of changing the content of my blog. I am a reader. I read about 3-4 books a month. I am a fiction reader but most of the time these books have a lot of meaning to them. I wanted to write about how my latest read (thank you Stacy) has affected me. The title is Firefly Lane and it follows two girls as they grow into women and beyond. They find their own ways in life but are the best of friends. It is amazing the forgiveness they muster in their friendship and the way the stay at home mom mothers. It is a book that has shown me how fragile life is and our relationships to our daughters. It was a blast from the past of difficult years in junior high and high school. Finding myself and how I fit into my family, my world and my body. It has helped me to hold on to my girls this week and the small spats we have now. I realize they are nothing compared to what is to come. This book also deals with our immortality. During the Lenten season in the Catholic church immortality is a mystery we contemplate. So, it has been on my mind already. When reading this book I was forced to think of death of myself and my own mother. Whenever we are confronted with this idea I think it is natural to change our living, better our relationships and hold on to those precious moments in life. This is where my blog title comes in. We must Be Not Afraid to live life now so that we may build the eternal life we want with God.

To my adoring fans

So I have been missing in action. We have finally had one full week of no one being sick (not counting Kevin's allergies). I know that I should have gotten myself up to run but we still have not been sleeping through the night. I am hoping that tonight little M will sleep through and maybe just maybe it won't be raining in the morning and I can run. Do you think I will do it? neither do I!

I don't know what is blocking my exercise routine. I have no commitments to run in the Cowtown at the end of the month. I have not signed up. I know other folks who are doing it BUT I don't want to commit my $20 and then not feel like I can run it and I really don't want to walk the whole thing. What a mess! How in the world did I stay so committed before December? I can tell my body needs to run again and I know it would help me in so many ways especially that I could check the guilt baggage I carry around each day.

Thanks for listening I think you have inspired me I am going to set out the running clothes tonight and hop up and just do it! Don't I sound like a Nike commercial?
Thanks for the incentive to blog tonight Amy.

The will to run

Confession
This past month has been so crazy with sick kids and the busyness of life. I did not run this weekend, life gets so busy and there just is not enough time. On top of the feelings of letting myself down I feel like I am letting down my family.
So my confession is I turned on Oprah today. What she was talking about struck a chord with me. She was saying how in the new year to get back on track with weight loss or the journey of joy "You must put yourself on your to do list." I have not been doing that and this is why I feel so depressed about it all.
I hate using that word, I don't think I am Depressed with a capital "D" but I think I need to make some changes. Running seemed to help with all of these worries, it gave me my time in the morning and energy to chase the girls all day. Yet I find it impossible to get up and get it done. Where did I find that commitment before? How can I get it again?
Well, duty calls- I have child hanging off my arm.. More later!!!

Sick of it

We all caught colds right after my run and then Christmas happened. So needless to say I have not run in quite some time.
I am tentatively committed to running a 10K at the end of February. The cowtown. If I can get my rear in gear this week I will pay my dues and run then.
I had an unexpected Christmas present-i am in pre-pregnancy jeans much quicker post Little M than I was with Big M. It is nice to have a pair that fit just right.

I ran the Rock!!!

This is the picture after we all finished the marathon on Sunday. It was amazing!!!
The official results said this: We finished at 5 hours 12 minute and that averaged at a pace of 11:56. The four original women on our team are not runners, we had one fill in that is a runner. She ran a total of 11 miles (6 just for fun!). Our starter says she crossed the start line 15 minutes late so that put our real finish time under 5 hours.

I was more nervous about this day than I have been about anything in a long time. I was responsible to find everyone and pass out our stuff and then had to wait around for my time to run. In this day and age of knowing when everything is happening, having cell phones and internet it was amazing to be in a position where you would run just as soon as your runner came- and you could only have an educated guess on that time. So my nerves were on high alert all morning. Then my runner came and it was my turn and it felt great to start out.
As I warmed up in the first mile a guy passed me that had no legs! No legs [only two prothesis], and he was doing great-I thought if he can do this so can I.

I had not run a full five miles in my training and I was realistically worried about how I would do. The last mile of my leg was supposed to be the hardest with two hills called the Dolly Parton's. At one mile in I knew I could do it-I felt great. The rest of the race was exciting, challenging, and strangely relaxing. I would get goose bumps when I passed people cheering us on. Little kids on the side giving high-fives made it fun.

I ran longer than my two on and two off. It was hard to stop running sometimes because my team was counting on me and everyone around me was telling me I could do it. It was a great race, I want to do it again.
We are all hoping to do more races in the spring. I hear a 10K is coming up in February in Fort Worth-it would be great to run closer to home.
Thanks for supporting me-keep reading, I'm not quitting.

Not Running

It has just been harder these last few weeks to run in the morning and then impossible to do it any other time. I don't know what all of my excuses are but here I am nonetheless. I am 5 days away from the Rock and I have yet to run a five mile stretch. This is not where I envisioned myself when this all started-I thought I would be in much better shape and in much better mental preparation for this run and I am not. I am excited about it but more nervous that I will let down my team now that the time has come. Now, these girls are all in the same boat I am, busy with life, kids, husbands, families and engagements and we all are feeling like we are not quite up to snuff. All I want to say is praise God none of us are doing a marathon all by ourselves. Together we can do it and I'll do my best on my part.
So even though it is supposed to be bone chilling cold in the morning I am going to go run. It may be my last run before the Rock and that will just have to do.

Turkey Trot

We got up on Thanksgiving morning at 5:50 am and were at the trot by 6:25am. It was cool but we knew it would be a beautiful day. It warmed up by start time and I was in my short sleeves by the end of the race. It was thrilling to be among 10,000 runners and all the bodies moving and shuffling to get started. I loved seeing the families with children out and all the strollers and such. It was also great to pass people who were slower than me!!!! My final race time was 40.34 I was 78 out of 137 women in my age group and I was the 550th person to cross the line. I ran at 13.04 mile.
At the end of the race, when I saw the finish line I got all these goose bumps. I was so excited that I had finished my race-something that I have overcome, something to show my girls and my husband that I could do. They were in the line and cheered me as I finished. My grandmother also came and cheered and cried with us. I then sat and we only waited nine minutes when we saw my parents cross the line as well. This was a great start to Thanksgiving, we are so thankful for health and bodies to do this. It just might become a family tradition!